It’s about knowing what that partnership looks like and feels like. Not just the qualities you’re looking for in a partner but rather a clear and conscious picture of the kind of experience that you want in a partnership. It’s the kind of relationship that you really want. It’s where you want to live, how you want to live, and the kind of work or career that’s deeply fulfilling for you. Your vision is the dream that lives inside you for the kind of life and relationship that you ultimately want. So how do you actually get conscious and avoid making the same “mistakes”? Get a clear vision of the kind of life and relationship you ultimately want You’ve already acknowledged that you want to avoid making the same “mistakes,” that you want to be more conscious on your dating journey, and that’s the first step. The truth is, we don’t know what we don’t know. Every experience no matter how painful can bring powerful new awareness to our life. To be clear, this is not to say that your previous relationships were mistakes or that you did anything wrong. If you want to avoid making the same mistakes in your next relationship, there are five things you can do to help set yourself up for relationship success and give yourself the best chance of finding a committed relationship that lasts. But it doesn’t have to lead to heartbreak. This post divorce stage in life can be exciting and confusing at the same time. You’re worried about overlooking red flags and ending up with a different version of your Ex. But you’re afraid of making the same mistakes. You’re wondering where he’s been all your life.Īt the same time, there’s a part of you that’s scared. And you haven’t felt this deep a connection with any other man before. Maybe you’re already in a budding romance. And now years later, you wondered what truly happened-what about those people drew you to them-and if that pain could’ve been avoided. In retrospect, you realize maybe you kind of fell into your past relationships. You’re conscious of what happened with your Ex You’re a free agent! Part of you just wants to do something different, have a good time, and be who you really are. You can be your own woman and show up in the world in a way that you felt you haven’t been able to in a very long time. You don’t have to answer to him* anymore (at least not like you used to). You can stay out late when your Ex has the kids. In your post divorce/new found life, you can now do things you couldn’t do before. When you get out of a long-term relationship or marriage, the newfound freedom can feel both exhilarating and daunting, especially if you’ve felt trapped or unhappy for a long time.
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